Life: How Do You Identify A Narcissist?
Today we hear the word "narcissist" a lot more than just a few years ago. I think there are two reasons. First, there is more awareness of the term. I have counseled many women who had no idea that they were living with a narcissistic spouse until they read or watched something that defined it for them. Second, we live in a very "me-centered" culture, and that certainly can bring out narcissistic behavior.
Let's look at a few of the traits that are common for narcissists as defined by Thriveworks Therapy:
Self-importance
Expecting praise for minimal work, even none at all
Being preoccupied with success or money, with a need to be "great"
Craving power
Only wanting to be around high-status or high-achieving people
Requiring lots of attention/praise from those around them
Entitled behavior
Expecting special treatment or for others to meet their high expectations
Exploiting others
Lack of empathy
Envy, or believing others are envious of them
I would add a couple of traits that I see fairly consistently:
Difficulty accepting criticism
Manipulative behavior
The core problem with narcissists, as I see it, is selfishness, which fits in perfectly with the world we live in today. Every trait listed above is rooted in selfishness.
From my perspective, the most difficult thing with selfishness is that there is a payoff for the narcissist, and payoffs encourage the continuance of the behaviors.
Can narcissism be diagnosed or confirmed in an individual? Well, there are several questionnaires designed to diagnose narcissism, but there is also the Single Item Narcissism Scale. Let's take a brief look at it:
As reported in Ohio State News on August 5, 2014:
"Scientists have developed and validated a new method to identify which people are narcissistic: Just ask them. In a series of 11 experiments involving more than 2,200 people of all ages, the researchers found they could reliably identify narcissistic people by asking them this exact question (including the note):
To what extent do you agree with this statement: "I am a narcissist." (Note: The word "narcissist" means egotistical, self-focused, and vain.)
Participants rated themselves on a scale of 1 (not very true of me) to 7 (very true of me).
"People who are willing to admit they are more narcissistic than others probably actually are more narcissistic," said Brad Bushman, co-author of the study and a professor of communication and psychology at The Ohio State University. "People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact. You can ask them directly because they don't see narcissism as a negative quality – they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly."
Remember that while many people may display some narcissistic traits occasionally, a person with narcissistic traits or someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will show a consistent pattern of these behaviors across various situations and relationships. Plus, as we talked about in week one of this series, narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not everyone who displays narcissistic traits has NPD.
I am far from an expert in this field and would never portray that, but as a Christian Counselor, I am very interested in it and how it affects people's lives. I always have hope in every situation, but my hope is not in me or them but in the power and work of God in our lives.
If you would like to take the Single Item Narcissism Scale, Click Here to take the test.
Next week, let's look at "Gaslighting." As always, I would love your input on today’s topic.